kerti-yasha

it’s the middle of the night, and i’ve got a million things racing through my head right now. i’ve been thinking about a lot of things. about how i ended up right here, right now. how i built all these feelings inside of me. how i ran away from them and broken someone else’s heart in the process. how i said those words many times each day and how those words got me in this hole. it is no use for a man to dwell in the past, but i think i have the right to do so sometimes…
dear God, i beg You, i don’t know where to walk anymore. i feel like i’m in the middle of a desert, no navigation at all, just me and the sand as far as the eye can see. it seems like i have a goal to pursue, a harbor to dock in, but sometimes — like just about now — i forget all that and i ask myself: where do i really want to go? what do i really want? and i can’t answer it.
i need a dream. i need to dream. so dear God, i beg of You, may i dream tonight? whatever the dream is, be it good or bad, i need something that i can hold on to, a sign that tells me wether to take a right or a left at the intersection.
so, i am going to bed now, and in You alone i put my hope…